Connect with Yourself First!

In my last post, I explored how we as a society are so overly-connected by technology, yet many of us still feel incredibly alone. Since that post I’ve received feedback from many people who have come to me saying that this rang true for them and for the world they live in. Clearly I’ve pinpointed an issue that touches many of our lives, how to be more connected the people with whom we interact. So how do we do that? The most important first step we can take to create stronger interpersonal connections, is to connect with ourselves.

In the past few weeks I have been exploring how I personally connect via technology. By maintaining my focus on myself, I was able to set specific intentions for each phone call, meeting, text, Facebook post or email. With my intentions firmly set, I then visualized myself connecting with that person and crafting the words to accomplish my intention while instilling in myself and the other person a sense that they are valued and appreciated. Let’s start with connecting to yourself.

The Process

Here is an exercise I do every morning for 5 minutes. I do this before my first cup of coffee and before I get “to work”.

Remove from your thoughts, as much as you are able, concerns beyond yourself. Forget your daily deadlines, the morning meeting you need to make it to, or the kids who will need fed and dressed and gotten off to school. Take a moment and consider how you would complete each of the following statements:

  • My intention/goal/vision for today is…
  • The three most important issues today are….
  • Right now, the number one thing on my mind is…
  • Today, I can get the help I need by…
  • Some risks I can take today include…
  • Today I can become a better person by…
  • Today I can take care of myself by…

The final step in this process is to imagine yourself at the end of today. Have you completed the things you’re thinking about now? Is you estimation of their importance correct when you imagine yourself looking back on the day? As you finish the exercise, allow yourself to dwell for a moment on what your first steps will be, what will set you out on the road to achieving your goals.

Moving through Your Day

As you move through your day, try to think back on this morning ritual and the decisions you made. Focus on connecting with the key people in your life while still managing the critical tasks you need to accomplish. When you call, text, email or post to Facebook, focus on communicating with a heartfelt connection. Communicate with people as if they were sitting across from you and you were having a conversation.

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About Amy Frost

Delivering Happiness guest blogger Amy Frost, MBA, M.A. Spiritual Psychology, and Certified Humorologist, is an accomplished educator, trainer, speaker and coach for leadership and life coaching programs. Her mission: to motivate and inspire individuals, teams and organizations to live and work consciously. Learn more about Amy at and

  • Suzanne Frazier

    What a great idea on how to start the morning.

  • Drskthompson

    Love it! How simple and profound…

  • Julie Quan

    Thank you, Amy, for this wonderful tip. I will put it to good use!

  • Amy

    You are so welcome. Let me know how it is working for you! Blessings!!

  • Amy

    I am so glad!!! I believe the simplier the better!!! Blessings!

  • Amy

    Thank YOU for showing the way! Blessings!

  • Anthony Beardsell

    Thanks Amy. Nice tips for self coaching. I did your five minute routine yesterday and it worked well for me. Three tips for a better connection with others that serve me well are: Smile, say “please,” say “thank you.” It’s amazing how simple it is and how many people forget..

  • Mukul Gupta

    I would say it about creating focus…what do you say AMy !

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